The Eagles - Hotel California
The future is always scary to those who cling to the past.
Friday, May 21, 2004
Thursday, May 20, 2004
Wednesday, May 19, 2004
The Cranberries - Animal Instinct
Sitting here watching The Nature of Things, I can't help but root on the wildebeest as thousands of them attempt to cross a river filled with alligators. Of course I always end up rooting for the small and weak and they always end up being eaten or getting trampled. It all makes my little cushy seat in my home seem, well, cushy.
Now it's the gazelle's turn to cross. If there was ever an animal you wanted to root for, it's the gazelle. They're small and cute. Like animal crackers. And that's exactly what the alligators are thinking. Good god, the slaughtering, the raping and pillaging!! Poor little gazelle :( SWIM LITTLE GAZELLE...SWIM!!!
Of course the nature channel always throws in a feel good story for us viewers. Otherwise this show would be so depressing and I'd be curled in the fetal position and crying by now.
So there's this gazelle and get this, it's a female gazelle. To top that all off, she's pregnant! She needs to cross the river but seeing how all her other gazelle lady friends were eaten by those nasty alligators she's a bit hesitant. After all, she's swimming for two. So she decides to go upstream a little to the rapids where there are fewer alligators. The risk is that she might drown crossing. This is when they crank the triumphant music and slow down the video as she swims across. And she does make it across :)
All this suspense and action has got me hungry. I'm going to go eat.
Sitting here watching The Nature of Things, I can't help but root on the wildebeest as thousands of them attempt to cross a river filled with alligators. Of course I always end up rooting for the small and weak and they always end up being eaten or getting trampled. It all makes my little cushy seat in my home seem, well, cushy.
Now it's the gazelle's turn to cross. If there was ever an animal you wanted to root for, it's the gazelle. They're small and cute. Like animal crackers. And that's exactly what the alligators are thinking. Good god, the slaughtering, the raping and pillaging!! Poor little gazelle :( SWIM LITTLE GAZELLE...SWIM!!!
Of course the nature channel always throws in a feel good story for us viewers. Otherwise this show would be so depressing and I'd be curled in the fetal position and crying by now.
So there's this gazelle and get this, it's a female gazelle. To top that all off, she's pregnant! She needs to cross the river but seeing how all her other gazelle lady friends were eaten by those nasty alligators she's a bit hesitant. After all, she's swimming for two. So she decides to go upstream a little to the rapids where there are fewer alligators. The risk is that she might drown crossing. This is when they crank the triumphant music and slow down the video as she swims across. And she does make it across :)
All this suspense and action has got me hungry. I'm going to go eat.
Monday, May 17, 2004
Dubstar - Stars
We'll take our hearts outside, leave our lives behind, and watch the stars go out.
...
So I've been working out so hard lately that my body has resorted to giving me diarrhea to try and make me stop. I mean it sort of makes sense. The harder you work out, the more your body says, "Fuck him, I'm going to give him the runs until he stops." Ok maybe not.
I think it has something to do with the excessive bananas I've been eating. In an attempt to make my shakes a little palatable, I've been overloading them with bananas. Bad move. Don't try this at home kids.
(If you want to make Shaky Jake's blog a little more palatable, you might want to eat a few bananas while reading this. Get some soft toilet paper just in case though.)
...
This weekend will be Sonia and I's 1 year anniversary. So we've booked a 2 day bed and breakfast up north at a dark sky resort. If you're not familiar what a "dark sky resort" is. It's basically a resort that has no light pollution so you can enjoy the stars. I sure hope I don't get diarrhea there. It might be hard to find a toilet in the dark. I'll bring my digital camera to take some pictures for you guys. Pictures of the resort and the stars that is.
We'll take our hearts outside, leave our lives behind, and watch the stars go out.
...
So I've been working out so hard lately that my body has resorted to giving me diarrhea to try and make me stop. I mean it sort of makes sense. The harder you work out, the more your body says, "Fuck him, I'm going to give him the runs until he stops." Ok maybe not.
I think it has something to do with the excessive bananas I've been eating. In an attempt to make my shakes a little palatable, I've been overloading them with bananas. Bad move. Don't try this at home kids.
(If you want to make Shaky Jake's blog a little more palatable, you might want to eat a few bananas while reading this. Get some soft toilet paper just in case though.)
...
This weekend will be Sonia and I's 1 year anniversary. So we've booked a 2 day bed and breakfast up north at a dark sky resort. If you're not familiar what a "dark sky resort" is. It's basically a resort that has no light pollution so you can enjoy the stars. I sure hope I don't get diarrhea there. It might be hard to find a toilet in the dark. I'll bring my digital camera to take some pictures for you guys. Pictures of the resort and the stars that is.
Tuesday, May 11, 2004
Monday, May 10, 2004
Today's Track : Mazzy Star - Wild Horses
Once upon a time I decided to open a door.
There are two types of people in the world -- those who open doors and those who don't. I was never a door opener. I was usually the one sitting in the corner of the room glancing at the door in hopes that someone or something interesting would walk in. And often I'd wonder if the people in the other room were having more fun than I was having. Maybe I was missing out.
There were always countless reasons to leave and yet I couldn’t. My own complacency and comfort led me to believe that I was happy. The truth was I wasn't happy but I wasn't unhappy either. I just was. Stuck between a tireless number of emotions I just didn’t know which one to feel.
You may choose to open a door because you’re tired of being in the room you're currently in. Maybe the ambience isn't right. Maybe the people are boring. Sometimes it's just a need for change. For me it was all of the above.
Before you walk through any door there are things you have to know. The first thing you should know is that the other side of that door is never in full view. You can only see as wide as the door will let you. The closer you get to that open door the wider the view gets but you still never get a complete view until you finally step through.
So one day I approached the door. I reached for that knob and I turned it. Not committing yet whether I would walk through or stay put, I could see from a distance people dressed in white and bubbles everywhere. I could hear music and laughter; see friends having drinks; couples sharing embraces. The people beyond that door were having fun and enjoying themselves. I wanted that. Why couldn't I have that?
Looking back one last time on the room that served me so well for the better part of three years I knew I was leaving a lot of people behind and disappointing a lot of people. There were so many expectations in that room. Another reason I had to leave – I could never live up to those expectations. Even as I walked through that door I didn’t know if I had made the right decision. I just knew I needed to see for myself what I was missing on the other side.
The moment I walked through that door I tried to look back but it closed behind me. Sometimes that happens. You can't assume you can always go back to where you came from. So as I looked at the new room, everything looked as great as I had thought it would look. The curtains were shiny and new. The lighting seemed brighter. The walls were an immaculate white. The people were smart and funny. My first thoughts were, "This is where I belong." And my thoughts never changed for most of my time there. The day did come though, when it seemed as though the lights had dimmed, the walls weren't as white and conversations with people were getting old. Maybe this wasn't the place for me either; maybe the last room I was in was where I was supposed to be. Those were my thoughts as I decided once again to leave. Seeing how I couldn’t go back to the previous room my only choice was to open another door and so I did.
So now I'm here in this new room and everything feels new again. I'm enjoying myself and everyone here is lovely. I’ve had such a great time here that I can hardly remember what the previous rooms were like. I'm happy again. Once in awhile though I wonder if this happiness will last; whether I'll become comfortable and complacent again; if I'll still want to be here in a few years down the road. And sometimes this worries me to no end. Now that I've opened countless doors, moved from room to room, what’s stopping me from doing it again?
I don't know the answers to these questions but I do know that I'm happy and for now that’s enough. Life is all about opening and closing doors and the choice is always there for me to make. Opening doors is something I really shouldn’t be afraid of.
Once upon a time I decided to open a door.
There are two types of people in the world -- those who open doors and those who don't. I was never a door opener. I was usually the one sitting in the corner of the room glancing at the door in hopes that someone or something interesting would walk in. And often I'd wonder if the people in the other room were having more fun than I was having. Maybe I was missing out.
There were always countless reasons to leave and yet I couldn’t. My own complacency and comfort led me to believe that I was happy. The truth was I wasn't happy but I wasn't unhappy either. I just was. Stuck between a tireless number of emotions I just didn’t know which one to feel.
You may choose to open a door because you’re tired of being in the room you're currently in. Maybe the ambience isn't right. Maybe the people are boring. Sometimes it's just a need for change. For me it was all of the above.
Before you walk through any door there are things you have to know. The first thing you should know is that the other side of that door is never in full view. You can only see as wide as the door will let you. The closer you get to that open door the wider the view gets but you still never get a complete view until you finally step through.
So one day I approached the door. I reached for that knob and I turned it. Not committing yet whether I would walk through or stay put, I could see from a distance people dressed in white and bubbles everywhere. I could hear music and laughter; see friends having drinks; couples sharing embraces. The people beyond that door were having fun and enjoying themselves. I wanted that. Why couldn't I have that?
Looking back one last time on the room that served me so well for the better part of three years I knew I was leaving a lot of people behind and disappointing a lot of people. There were so many expectations in that room. Another reason I had to leave – I could never live up to those expectations. Even as I walked through that door I didn’t know if I had made the right decision. I just knew I needed to see for myself what I was missing on the other side.
The moment I walked through that door I tried to look back but it closed behind me. Sometimes that happens. You can't assume you can always go back to where you came from. So as I looked at the new room, everything looked as great as I had thought it would look. The curtains were shiny and new. The lighting seemed brighter. The walls were an immaculate white. The people were smart and funny. My first thoughts were, "This is where I belong." And my thoughts never changed for most of my time there. The day did come though, when it seemed as though the lights had dimmed, the walls weren't as white and conversations with people were getting old. Maybe this wasn't the place for me either; maybe the last room I was in was where I was supposed to be. Those were my thoughts as I decided once again to leave. Seeing how I couldn’t go back to the previous room my only choice was to open another door and so I did.
So now I'm here in this new room and everything feels new again. I'm enjoying myself and everyone here is lovely. I’ve had such a great time here that I can hardly remember what the previous rooms were like. I'm happy again. Once in awhile though I wonder if this happiness will last; whether I'll become comfortable and complacent again; if I'll still want to be here in a few years down the road. And sometimes this worries me to no end. Now that I've opened countless doors, moved from room to room, what’s stopping me from doing it again?
I don't know the answers to these questions but I do know that I'm happy and for now that’s enough. Life is all about opening and closing doors and the choice is always there for me to make. Opening doors is something I really shouldn’t be afraid of.
Friday, May 07, 2004
Today’s Track : New Order – Turn My Way
I don't wanna be like other people are
Don't wanna own a key, don't wanna wash my car
Don't wanna have to work like other people do
I wanted to be free, I wanted to be true
...
If vegetables could talk…part two…
Tomato – Man this stop light is long.
Celery – Hey check out these guys pulling up to us with their decked out car.
Carrot – You think they’ve got their music loud enough?
Tomato – Yeah those are some crazy beets.
Celery – You mean you like the music?
Tomato – No, I mean those beets in the car are crazy.
Celery – So you don’t like the music?
Carrot – Ok I’m thoroughly confused but those guys are revving their engine. You think I should race them?
Celery – Those guys look like rookie racers. You're a seasoned vegetarian. Hell yeah you can totally take them.
Carrot – You mean seasoned veteran.
Celery – No I mean you're a seasoned vegetarian. You know, you're "experienced" in the art of street racing.
Carrot – Um…yeah, I'm a seasoned vegetarian.
Tomato – Hey guys, the light just turned green and those crazy beets took off.
Carrot – Fuck.
...
You know what I hate? Restaurants that are crazy expensive and the food is mediocre. It’s this little air of elitism that they create with their absurd prices and everyone is fooled into thinking that it’s a decent restaurant. It’s like if I took one of my dirty smelly socks and put a price tag of $1000 on it and did some marketing, I could convince some rich asshole somewhere that it’s exotic fashion.
I don't wanna be like other people are
Don't wanna own a key, don't wanna wash my car
Don't wanna have to work like other people do
I wanted to be free, I wanted to be true
...
If vegetables could talk…part two…
Tomato – Man this stop light is long.
Celery – Hey check out these guys pulling up to us with their decked out car.
Carrot – You think they’ve got their music loud enough?
Tomato – Yeah those are some crazy beets.
Celery – You mean you like the music?
Tomato – No, I mean those beets in the car are crazy.
Celery – So you don’t like the music?
Carrot – Ok I’m thoroughly confused but those guys are revving their engine. You think I should race them?
Celery – Those guys look like rookie racers. You're a seasoned vegetarian. Hell yeah you can totally take them.
Carrot – You mean seasoned veteran.
Celery – No I mean you're a seasoned vegetarian. You know, you're "experienced" in the art of street racing.
Carrot – Um…yeah, I'm a seasoned vegetarian.
Tomato – Hey guys, the light just turned green and those crazy beets took off.
Carrot – Fuck.
...
You know what I hate? Restaurants that are crazy expensive and the food is mediocre. It’s this little air of elitism that they create with their absurd prices and everyone is fooled into thinking that it’s a decent restaurant. It’s like if I took one of my dirty smelly socks and put a price tag of $1000 on it and did some marketing, I could convince some rich asshole somewhere that it’s exotic fashion.
Wednesday, May 05, 2004
Today’s Track : Eurythmics – Here Comes The Rain Again
Oh my god gas prices are so ridiculously high these days. Wasn't it supposed to go down after the US had reinforced their position in the Middle East and got their greedy little hands on the oil? So not only has Bush not found the supposed WMD, he hasn't even lowered our gas prices. I swear that guy is useless. Where's Bob Dole when you need him? I bet Bob Dole would have at least given us discounts on Viagra...not that I need it.
...
You know when guys take a pee they usually shake their thingies a few times when they're done so that any pee that's still dripping from their tap is shaken off before they stick their wangs back into their pants. The point is to not get any pee on their pants or boxers. Women do the same thing except they can't shake so they use toilet paper. Well I just went to the washroom and I must have shook it a little too hard because I got some on my pants in the process. So now I'm walking around all day with urine on my pants.
...
I work in an office where 95% of the employees are female. In fact, my cubicle is surrounded by 5 other cubicles that are occupied by women. This normally would be a good situation to be in except when their menstrual cycles synchronize. I try and keep a mental note of when these "days" occur and I’m conveniently sick for those days.
I went out to lunch with these ladies today and you wouldn't believe the things that come out of their mouths. The conversation was extremely perverted and yet whenever I made a comment that was mildly perverse they were in shock!
Barbara – This is a nice mini-van you have Judith!
Judith – Yeah my husband bought it for my birthday.
Sandra – The only thing it's missing is a dvd player for the backseats.
Judy – So we could watch porn on the way to lunch.
All the ladies – (laughing)
Me – Nothing makes me want to eat like porn.
All the ladies – (silence)
Sandra - Let’s not go there; I want to keep my food down today.
Me – What did I say something?
This is clearly a case of the double standard.
Oh my god gas prices are so ridiculously high these days. Wasn't it supposed to go down after the US had reinforced their position in the Middle East and got their greedy little hands on the oil? So not only has Bush not found the supposed WMD, he hasn't even lowered our gas prices. I swear that guy is useless. Where's Bob Dole when you need him? I bet Bob Dole would have at least given us discounts on Viagra...not that I need it.
...
You know when guys take a pee they usually shake their thingies a few times when they're done so that any pee that's still dripping from their tap is shaken off before they stick their wangs back into their pants. The point is to not get any pee on their pants or boxers. Women do the same thing except they can't shake so they use toilet paper. Well I just went to the washroom and I must have shook it a little too hard because I got some on my pants in the process. So now I'm walking around all day with urine on my pants.
...
I work in an office where 95% of the employees are female. In fact, my cubicle is surrounded by 5 other cubicles that are occupied by women. This normally would be a good situation to be in except when their menstrual cycles synchronize. I try and keep a mental note of when these "days" occur and I’m conveniently sick for those days.
I went out to lunch with these ladies today and you wouldn't believe the things that come out of their mouths. The conversation was extremely perverted and yet whenever I made a comment that was mildly perverse they were in shock!
Barbara – This is a nice mini-van you have Judith!
Judith – Yeah my husband bought it for my birthday.
Sandra – The only thing it's missing is a dvd player for the backseats.
Judy – So we could watch porn on the way to lunch.
All the ladies – (laughing)
Me – Nothing makes me want to eat like porn.
All the ladies – (silence)
Sandra - Let’s not go there; I want to keep my food down today.
Me – What did I say something?
This is clearly a case of the double standard.
Tuesday, May 04, 2004
Today’s Track : Depeche Mode – Enjoy the Silence
I feel fat and sassy.
All these talks about low-carb diets are really starting to annoy me. People need to stop obsessing about extreme diets and start obsessing about leading a healthier lifestyle. Get off your fat asses and exercise.
...
I went to a 25+ club that played retro/80's hits on the Friday and I can't remember the last time I had as much fun at a club. Good friends + good music = good times. I think I'm getting a bit old for the 20 yr/old thugs for life clubs these days. Holla at me!
...
If you've ever had whey protein shakes you’ll know that they taste like crap. They especially taste like crap if you don’t have milk to mix with the powder and you have to use water. I think I finally found a combination of ingredients that actually tastes good!!!
Ingredients…
½ cup of water
1 scoop of whey protein
1 banana
3 table spoons of coffeemate or coffee whitener
Does anyone else have any protein shake recipes?
I feel fat and sassy.
All these talks about low-carb diets are really starting to annoy me. People need to stop obsessing about extreme diets and start obsessing about leading a healthier lifestyle. Get off your fat asses and exercise.
...
I went to a 25+ club that played retro/80's hits on the Friday and I can't remember the last time I had as much fun at a club. Good friends + good music = good times. I think I'm getting a bit old for the 20 yr/old thugs for life clubs these days. Holla at me!
...
If you've ever had whey protein shakes you’ll know that they taste like crap. They especially taste like crap if you don’t have milk to mix with the powder and you have to use water. I think I finally found a combination of ingredients that actually tastes good!!!
Ingredients…
½ cup of water
1 scoop of whey protein
1 banana
3 table spoons of coffeemate or coffee whitener
Does anyone else have any protein shake recipes?
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